Maternal Rights vs. What Is Right For The Child

Tonight I had dinner at Bryant Park in New York City. During the summer months, there is a large movie screen set up in the park itself where movies are shown just after the sun sets. The feature presentation of the evening: Kramer vs. Kramer, a movie a favorite English teacher of mine had recommended years ago.

The movie is about the custody battle that takes place after two parents get divorced. Unfortunately, I could not see the movie too well from where I was sitting and was unable to grasp what was happening. So another movie added to my: must watch relatively soon list. But it also got me thinking about my views on custody battles.

First and foremost, I have a serious issue with the fact that a mother needs to be deemed severely unfit before the child is placed in the care of the father. The court looks at every case separately but tends to follow the guidelines of if a mother has not been arrest for prostitution or drug possession, is clean alcohol and drug wise and has not been in a mental hospital then they get to keep their child. So what happens when the mother is semi unfit to raise the kids because of one reason or another but the father has a stable income, a stable home situation and can offer the child safety that particular mother cannot? Shouldn’t decisions like the above be made in the best interest of the child and not focus solely on the mother’s role in the situation?

Here is where my argument can seem slightly hypocritical. I believe that any woman who does not want her child and gives up custody should absolutely be removed from that child’s life until the sentiment changes. And when a change does occur, the mother should not be allowed to be heavily involved in their child’s life and should certainly not be awarded custody. However, all cases should be reviewed on an individual basis and one should not set a precedent for the next.

I feel bad for unfit mother’s who really want to keep their children but I still believe that this entire system was established to ensure the safety and happiness of the child. If that means that a mother has to allow her child to live with her ex-husband for that child to have a better life then there is no question as to what she should do. That’s true parental love: sacrificing your needs for the needs of your child.